Yes, Help me... I'm confused... I think... I prayed this yesterday. Yes, indeed I felt confused and frustrated with myself. I seriously don't know how to describe how I feel.

Today in church I came upon this verse:

"In Your LOVE You kept me
from the pit of destruction;
You have put all my sins
behind Your back"

Isaiah 38:17

I felt comforted with this verse because the reason I felt frustrated with myself was that I cannot accept the fact that I deliberately SINNED against God and not feel an ounce of regret/remorse for what I did. I was like, "You know God.. I feel so "unrighteous"/"dirty" that I don't think I'll ever deserve Your love" However, this verse said that because of HIS LOVE, He has kept me away from destruction and has put my sins behind His back. How awesome is that promise.

Apart from that, in church, we sang a song that really touched me. It goes like this:

I lift my eyes up to the mountains
Where does my help come from
My help comes from You
Maker of heaven, creator of the earth

Oh how I need You Lord
You are my only hope
You are my only friend
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
Come and give me life

Those words in bold gave me the assurance that Yes Lord, I really need You; and You're my ONLY Hope and friend... And I will wait for You to come and rescue me, to come and give me life.

I think this week would be a week where it would be filled with times of earnest searching... Searching and yearning for the Lord... To know Him better... A time to surrender and learn to give my life to Him; where He would be the pilot of my life.

ALL TO JESUS I SURRENDER
ALL TO HIM I FREELY GIVE;
I WILL EVER LOVE AND TRUST HIM,
IN HIS PRESENCE DAILY LIVE.

I SURRENDER ALL, I SURRENDER ALL;
ALL TO THEE, MY BLESSED SAVIOUR,
I SURRENDER ALL.

ALL TO JESUS, I SURRENDER,
MAKE ME, SAVIOUR, WHOLLY THINE;
LET ME FEEL THY HOLY SPIRIT,
TRULY KNOW THAT THOU ART MINE.

ALL TO JESUS, I SURRENDER,
LORD, I GIVE MYSELF TO THEE;
FILL ME WITH THY LOVE AND POWER,
LET THY BLESSING FALL ON ME.